Hanging out vs dating college

24-Nov-2017 09:45

One problem with "hanging out" and "hooking up" is that they don't seem designed to lead anywhere. As the average age of those who marry gets older and older, and the average age of childbearing gets older and older, are we sure we are OK with it?

The new "traditional wisdom" is that you have to finish college, get some financial independence, maybe have a house …

If you've been down this road before, you know that it's seldom successful.

You remain stuck in the "friend zone," which is relationship purgatory if you have a crush on someone.

I don't care if you're the most self-confident, well-adjusted person around; rejection hurts. So instead of asking the person on a date, you go on approximations of dates that allow for plausible deniability of all romantic intentions. Fear of rejection alone has resulted in the proliferation of Starbucks like a French-roasted virus.

It makes the remaining friendship awkward at best, and humiliating at worst. People suffer through this in the hope that the object of their affection will eventually buckle and reveal his or her true feelings. They keep making up excuses to hang out, hedging all their bets and waiting for God to give them a sign.

An even more old-fashioned word was "wooing." Don't you kind of like that term?

Trying to woo someone — to win their affection — it was a real challenge, and an exciting one, and a worthy one. Just hanging out is a little annoying and wasteful when you are 17, but it's even worse when you're 27, and it will be totally old and boring when you are 37.

They described men who drove them crazy by calling and hanging around while never asking them out on a real date.bugged by the phrases "hanging out" and "hooking up." And we'll tell you why.It's not only the terms or the words we don't like, it's the practice! You don't have to call the girl or take the initiative. You don't have to think or plan or come up with something fun to do.Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and young women joining together in some group activity. For the benefit of some of you who are not middle-aged or older, I also may need to describe what dating is. Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases. And the more elaborate and expensive the date, the fewer the dates.

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As dates become fewer and more elaborate, this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment. Gone is the clumsy and inexpensive phone call your parents and grandparents and I used to make. ” Cheap dates like that can be frequent and nonthreatening, since they don’t seem to imply a continuing commitment. Does dinner between two people who want to get to know each other even have a anymore?